Josh's profileA U 7 U M N W I N D ZPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
A U 7 U M N W I N D Z- rise against the demons that are gonna try and hold you down! |
|||||||
|
|
|
10/19/2009 A long timeThere's not much to say so I won't say much, this place is a record of things past and things gone and things of that such See the days and night and time itself, bringing their dust and shadows and casting their spells The temporal destiny of worldly wings, the iridescent quality of shining beings . 5/21/2009 Original Public Service AnnouncementFor the record, there are a few asses on the internets using the name 'AutumnWindz' I've had this since nickname since 2000, when I was the only one. Some of the aforementioned asses include some idiot on predictify (lame shit), some moron(s) on some random support forums, and a dumb bitch on a dating site (hopeless). Most started within the past year. Whether or not these are all the same shitbag: fuck you (all) Thank you and have a nice day. 2/23/2009 SpaceLife is an interesting predicament,
Predictably boring, unexpectedly terrifying.
A bit too interesting. A bit too bland.
A weaving of filaments, an invisible tent,
A whole lot too grand. 9/1/2008 深夜中的声音 在北京就打中文的吧. 锻炼锻炼... 今天睡到2点多, 接电话 - 电话说到四点左右, 终于起床啦. 起床后就没什么事干, 直接跑去上网... 其实上网也没什么意思的, 无聊... 过了会看窗外发现外边天气格外的好, 这才有了一点走走动动的想法, 就到阳台上考察一下. 考察结果表明, 今天天气的确很不错, 阳光明媚. 西边的山都看的清清楚楚的... 便有了出门的愿望. 可是, 得先做好心理准备... 除了昨天在外边吃了顿晚饭, 前天在网吧混了一夜之外, 我一个礼拜都没出门了. 今天要出门对于处在极度无聊状态下的我是一件不小的事呢, 踏出家门还是要有勇气的 要不是打开电视被可爱的中超联赛吸引的话, 我早出发了. 太久没好好看足球了... 不过那场比赛还挺好看的, 浙江绿城对上海申花. 解说员说是 "江南德比". 一开场就听到浙江队的球迷热情的喊着唱着, 不比欧洲球迷差... 我就有点佩服了. 虽然是重播, 可是太久没看什么比赛了. 看比赛. 是浙江队的主场, 他们的球迷又那么热情, 我就支持上浙江队了. 上半时随着球迷们为球队的每次抢断, 传球的喝彩声中以 浙江 1-0 领先的比分结束 (后来还是1-1平了). 以后要是关注中超的话还支持浙江队... 真没想到中国还会有那么厉害的球迷拉拉队, 气势太强了. 弄得我也想去现场凑热闹. 看完上半场都六点了, 外边已经夜色将近 穿上鞋子锁上家门 这才走向了感觉很久没见过的公车站 坐着车去王府井... 为的就是去个人多的地方, 看看风景, 活活心血. 现在想起来也挺白痴的. 王府井明显是老外/外地人的天地... 今天整个王府井大街还在广播什么"民警提示您看管好自己的物品, 不要交给陌生人..." 还有非常差劲的'半英文版' 啦啦啦啦 废话好多. 总之, 去了王府井就逛了逛 新东安, 奥运店, nikebeijing, 东方新天地都转了一圈... 当了一次游客 陪自己旅游了一下. 在书店买了两本书(决定要好好吸取中国文化了), 之后在田野永和吃了点便宜的东西(挺好吃的) 就走向东单那边 坐车回家. 在家总是那么无聊却经常懒得出门, 出来转一转发现还是蛮喜欢北京这个大城市. 虽然大的有点不像家, 可是去哪都感觉挺熟悉的... 人那么多 谁都不认识谁 自己寂寞点也就算了 扯淡完毕 i am josh lee and i approve this message 4/26/2008 as the bird fliesand, so, I was sitting there again on a warm, but cold friday evening.
spring was in full swing by now, with blossoms floating peacefully in the twilight breeze.
I stood up.
tripping on a crack in the ground as I endeavored to cross the street, I admired the perfection with which the sunset reflected off the windshield of the bus traveling toward me.
its driver,
a face of panic and agony in anticipation.
I wondered.
what would it feel like?
I wondered no more.
my ears split from my head - or at least it felt so ...
I was flying.
the black of the pavement, the yellow of the lines painted upon it, the green of the traffic light, the glimmering shimmer of a fading sunset, the milky glow of an early evening moon...
They all mixed with the splendid red shattering upon the air all around me, creating a rainbow
A rainbow to help me forget - momentarily, at least - the splintering of my body as life deserted it ...
Screech. Thud. Screams, yells joined the chorus of color swarming around me;
I had fallen and I couldn't get back up
anymore.
as the bird flies, so the arrow travels, straight and true 4/8/2008 storySo there I was, walking along the road, heading back to wherever I'd come from. All of a sudden, up in front, a mountainous shape sprung up. Fair enough, I thought, I'll just walk around it. But, no - it wasn't going to be easy like that. Not at all. This mountain in particular, could move. Yes, it was a moving mountain of legendary mobility. At this point, people started running. Some guy skateboarded past, all like 'whooaahhhh moving mountain, maaaan'. The mountain came closer and yet I still stood there - I hadn't moved. It raised a gigantic foot, slowly, deliberately, above my head and then a rumbling came around from its general direction. "Can you teach me how to tie my shoes? These treelaces are awfully perky and they just don't stay together like the manual says." For better or for worse, I taught it to tie its treelaces and then the moving mountain lumbered off again, leveling first the citadel behind me, then going on to smash various other historical buildings of relative historical importance here in Lanzone City.
Obviously, I didn't really mind all that much. My house was on the far opposite side of town, and my car had been mercifully sidestepped by the grateful mountain, who was now prancing as mountainously as a mountain could - atop the rubbled remains of the monument the City's founders had erected of some old war hero. So much for heroes, I thought; they fly high in front of their enemies, but mountains couldn't care less.
Elsewhere in town, the disturbance was being reported widely as a mild earthquake with a 60% chance of aftertremors. I knew better and told everyone that looked interested that The Beatles had returned and were holding the biggest concert in the galaxy - for free - and that Jesus was on the drums for them this one time, and one time only. Little did they know, this was all part of my cunning plan to obtain free food: I had misplaced my wallet earlier in the morning and so, spreading the story at McDonald's proved to be effective in clearing all obstacles between me and free burgers. Realizing the inadequacy of their standard burger layouts, I liberally added cheese and patties to my burgers in haphazard fashion, then got back into my car and drove home, taking the scenic route. Far on the distant horizon, a mountain still wobbled about joyously, uprooting all manners of life and structure.
With a grin, I turned onto my driveway and parked the car, then strolled up to the front door of my very own house. I flicked on the lights, turned on the TV, and flopped down in front. It turns out that the earthquake had destroyed power supply to the entire city and that there was, in fact, a Beatles concert earlier downtown. The surprising thing was that I, then, should not have power to use my TV, and the Beatles concert had seemingly appeared out of thin air around the same time I had been spreading the story, and disappeared two hours later in similar fashion.
None of this makes sense, of course, until you realize that I am --
i thought i saw you, and i was excited, but when i got close it wasn't you anymore 8/29/2007 MindstormNever think about doing anything bad, and you'll be okay, you'll be okay.
I'll do the bad things, you can watch. Please watch me do bad things, I need an audience.
So there was one time, we set fire to a firetruck. We all watched, we watched while he set fire to the firetruck.
Burn firetruck, burn.
The firetruck started burning.
Someone dialled 911 and reported a fire. Fire at the fire station! Your firetruck is on fire, sir.
WHAT THE FUCK, WHO BURNIN' MY TRUCK!
Well, the firetruck burned down like a pile of hay on a dry summer evening, that stack of hay that Uncle Bob accidentally tripped over and spit fire into.
Yeah, those summers were the best, back when burning down a forest or two was a legitimate pastime and you could actually find branches on trees good enough to be used for baseball bats. Baseball bats for bashing dents into the sides of your neighbor's house. The fat neighbor that belched so loud that your dog would bark for hours.
That dog was sometimes useful. Especially when you were talking about blowing up the neighborhood. When someone called the FBI and reported you for thinking about terrorsm, you could always blame the dog. Back then, even the cops were on drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK, WHO STEALIN' MY RIBBONS!
Some little girl just had her ribbons stolen, the one she had just stolen from her 123 year old great-great-grandmother a few hours ago. She was gonna make ribbon pie with the ribbons, involving a lot a glue and some bits of old socks and clumped up clothes detergent. Jimmy thought it sounded tasty and would perhaps try it out, he wasn't exactly sure, but he was pretty sure anyway. Sort of.
I can feel the world changing!
I can see the heat from the pavement,
It's changing
And it's melting
I can feel the world changing
It's getting warmer
and warmer
I can feel the heat through the window,
Why won't the fix the damn power
My air con is broken
and my ice cream is
melting, just like the world,
I'm melting into a puddle
with the world an ocean
beneath my blistering
Feet.
The winds of autumn are on their way, evidently. The shades of summer are on their retreat, obviously.
The cries of heat are on the decline, thankfully. The shadows of winter loom beyond, frightfully.
Yet the beginnings of a new spring await further along, peacefullly.
I can feel that change, I can feel, can you feel it
And so there was one time, like, where we all piled into this big, like, car thing... then we like totally laughed, 'cuz it was like so not funny at all. But we still laughed, 'cuz it was still like sort of funny... and then we got arrested, 'cuz this big car thing, like, wasn't really ours... it was like, somebody else's that we didn't really know too good... so we had to spend the night in, like, this crappy jail cell at the police station... that was like, the highlight of my life, man... i can tell my, like, grandkids, that, like, i got arrested once. it was so awesome...
I'm sorry ma'am. He couldn't make it. His horse tripped over a tree root and he broke his fourth metatarsal and three ribs. He's crippled and recovering at the witch's abode. You'll have to wait. I know you can't wait, I know the Devil is coming for you soon. But there's nothing we can do, the Knight is the last one left in this county, the rest all quit last month after the pay cut. This contract states clearly that the princess must be rescued by the Knight in Shining Armor.
Oh, right, and his Armor isn't so Shining anymore, we've sent that back for repairs and upgrades, so that'll probably mean another extra day. Or three.
We're sincerely sorry.
Gas low, please refuel or risk critical injuries caused by terminal engine failure. Death is not our responsibility, however, if you do die, we'll send a postcard to your family and tell them what happened. You didn't refuel on our Premium Plus Plus Addition Plus Super Plus(TM) specially engineered gas in time, and you crashed your silly aircraft into a silly mountain in the middle of silly nowhere.
Sadly.
Usually, there is nothing unusual
This is unusual, which is different
The stars are shining blue
and the moon is giving off a greenish hue
Usually, this isn't the case
This is unusual,
Usually, there is nothing unusual
The grass is brown here
and browner still on the other side.
The water is glowing,
and my bones are showing.
Usually, there is nothing unusual,
No one has energy to think,
to feel, to hear,
to see and know.
Usually, there is nothing unusual, for we live in most boring times,
where words rarely rhyme
and everything revolves around time.
But today is unusual,
because though usually, there is nothing unusual,
today,
I happened to use my mind.
We're in the bottom of the ninth, and the atmosphere is just intense tonight, folks. The stadium is packed and the crowd is roaring. The bases are loaded, Zongalo is up. The count is full. Here's the pitch...
He swings!...
Crack!
7/3/2007 The Chronicles of Innocence - simplicity/shadows fall- The Chronicles of Innocence
As with the rising sun, it was a beginning.
Chapter one. I tentatively made my fateful first steps up the gangplank to the looming ship above. A ship of learning and growing, of life as seen from the eyes of a teenager. Enter. Teacher, aging lady, reminded one of an old mother raven. Can you speak Chinese, she asked. In my most fluent Chinese ever, I replied yes. Good then, where will you sit? Ah, you can sit there. She pointed, I sat. Enter a relatively short kiddo, looking as timid as any new student could look. Timid, the both of us. New additions, both of us. Weeks later, what’s your English name? I knew his Chinese name already. Oh, cool, that’s nice, I replied after the answer. Dennis. Like Dennis Rodman. Let’s go have lunch. Where’s Justin? God, not you again, Isaac. Here, let me have a candy. NO, STUFF YOUUU! Dang Isaac, don’t be so loud. Sheesh.
Chapter two. Wow, where did everybody go, go go, goooo..? Echoes. Times change. Good old Justin and Dennis. Dog eating Danny? Rarr. Don’t eat me, nooooo. *Korean swearing* A Korean has been infected, with rabies. Mysterious puddles on random tables, police are tracing several suspects, all of them named Danny. Great, why can’t they get some new food at this store? Hamburgers all day… jeez. Cloudy days. Bike accidents and confrontations with authority. Down with the gay PE teacher. Shitty teachers and boring classes.
Chapter three. Kidz kidz everywhere. Third year, middle of the road, going somewhere with nothing to show. Down to hell with the gay PE teacher. Violence in PE class. Destroy. Skipping class. Disaster on the basketball court. Panic ensues. Phear grips the hearts of phour phriends. It’s okay. School beach trip, water water everywhere. Really? Yeah. Nintendo 64. Bye everyone, Justin said. I’m leaving on a jet plane. Bye Justin, everyone wave goodbye to Justin! *waving* Salutations. Woof woof, barked the class dog. Bye class kiwi-dog! Our ship just lost the captain and the navigator. Danger ahead.
Chapter four. Exodus. Where’d you go, they asked. Down down downdown, I said. Fail. WTF is DP? O, it’s that class with ten guys and one girl. Haha. Days of stupidity with some guys called Eric Tom and Jerry. And Perry. And a height-challenged individual named Chris. I don’t know anyone called Tom. Your physio Mr. Doctor reports that the following players have suffered an injury: HKH has suffered double ankle fractures in a basketball game at school, no estimate on the amout of time he’ll be out injured. Well, the class just dips itself into a big pool of shit. This ship is gonna sink. Get me outta here!
Chapter five. We’re going down, we’re going down! Abandon ship! With that, the whole ship exploded into a million pieces of instructional destruction. One survivor: Josh Lee, male, 17, Asian. Refugee. DP has improved. Four females instead of one before. Applause please. *audience claps politely like in golf* Thank you very muchhhh. Refugee immigrates illegally to DP-land. Congress is too slow in passing legislature against such problems. Insane basketball and kids taking small things too seriously. Ah, hi, is that you old chap! Mr. Zhang! Down with Chelsea. Dragon-dragon and a walking TOTO brand toilet. Some swuit boredom and a man from HK. Drum-drum is the new mascot of Strangeville. He doesn’t know it. Something tells me she’s cool. Hi Tiff! The refugee has found his home.
Chapter six. Burn the house, burn the house, we’re all gonna die, they screamed! Build this house and burn the books, I don’t care where I go as long as I have my looks! Dribble the ball and practice my hooks, I can’t care about those ugly books. Exams. Binge eating at teachers’ homes. Chaos. Organized, disorganized. A loose confederation of independence. Development. Glory Man United. Hey, what college are you going to, they asked? He answered. Awesome! That’s cool, we’re all going to college. ‘Cause we got through high school. Alive and in less pieces than three.
Take a bow. *bows*
Shadows fall and spiders crawl, All along these cracks That run through these walls surrounding our lives. Lives that wither and shiver, Lest to them you give your all. The walls cannot stand your strongest attacks, For they are but mere barriers in the face of your strongest soul. Stand strong when the going gets cold, When you’re feeling lost and alone, Here you will always have a home. A home of chalkboard walls and doors with locks on the wrong sides, A home with clouds on the ceiling and floored with cracking tiles. A home for one and all, One and all that grew up together in the years, Grew up together in the years up to oh-seven, In a dilapidated old building trying to be new, A building that was dumpy but held no fears. A place of memories and a place of friendship, Shadows fall and spiders crawl, A web of time weaves itself over our past, Threatening to cover it. But things like these are made to last, When the years are gone and the time has come, We’ll look back one day and be able to say, I once was there in two oh-oh-seven, It was dusty and dirty but to me it was heaven, I grew up there in the strangest manner, They had weird Chinese teachers and slogans on a banner, And the silliest bunch of kids ever put together, A bunch of kids that will all remember, They were the silliest bunch of kids ever put together. A bunch of kids that grew up under the same cracked walls, And now they’re off to their University Halls, A bunch of kids, silly, smart and true, One and all.
As with the rising sun ascending the mountain horizon, the beginning eventually passed. The sun went in its arc over the sky above us all, and now it’s setting. As with the setting sun, so it’s the end.
As with the setting sun, it will always come back and bring with it another beginning.
Bona fortuna!
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________/ Please
take me by the hand ~going away to college~
2007.
5/22/2007 Balltek Bear (a free little spark inside)SCENE: Kids running around on a grassy slope, they seem to be around age 7 or so, their mother is struggling to round them back up for what looks like lunch, set up on a nearby picnic table. The sky is a brilliant blue, the grass is a vibrant green.
Mother: Kids! Come back and have lunch, be good now. James: No!! Tarn: Yeah, no!! James: C’mon Tarn, let’s go again!
SCENE: James and Tarn hop into a big red wagon parked on the hillside. James kicks it off and they go screeching down the hill, the two kids squealing in delight.
SCENE: A TV is flashing. Ads are playing at this time in history, this particular ad is for Kiddyballs.
Voice in the ad: Tired of calling and calling and calling, (and calling) for kids that will never come? Want some peace and quiet for the afternoon? Well, what are you waiting for? Call 999-888-7777 and order your Kiddyballs today! Separate edition available for pets as well, ask about ‘Petballs’. Guaranteed 85% safe, almost government approved! Balltek Incorporated.
SCENE: The exasperated mother is looking flustered.
Mother: That’s it, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
SCENE: The mother reaches in her pocket and pulls out two balls with the letters ‘KB’ imprinted on them. She takes careful aim and…
James: OUCH!! Tarn: WTF!?
SCENE: The Kiddyballs thrown by the mother hit their respective targets square on the head, and with a flash of red light, the kids are trapped inside the balls.
Mother: Aaaaaallllllllllll right! Gotta catch ‘em all!
SCENE: Pikachu and Ash walk by, humming the Pokemon theme tune.
SCENE: Elsewhere in Landland, two young men are strolling in a mall, apparently relaxing. Other people stroll by them on all sides, enjoying their weekend by visiting the mall. The two guys are passing by a GAP store when…
John: OMG! Look at that! Jack: What, huh? OMG!
SCENE: It seems that the two have spotted an absolutely gorgeous young lady, the type that wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at guys like them. Upon realizing this truth, the two guys become disappointed.
John: Bah, she’d never even bat an eyelid at you. Jack: WTF dude? It’s not like she’d bat an eyelid at your carcass either, asshole. John: Fuck you! Jack: STFU ASS! John: Wait, my grandma gave me this for a Christmas present last year, let’s try it? Jack: Uh, okay!
SCENE: John throws a Womanball at the pretty lady in front of them, it hits her square on the head. And then she’s gone with a flash of red light into the ball.
Lady: Ooo! John and Jack: WOOT!
SCENE: The TV again. An announcer is harping on about the merits of the ‘Ball’ series their company, Balltek Inc., has researched and created. John and Jack are their new poster boys; they ooze enthusiasm over the Womanball in particular. Viewers of the TV ad are encouraged to try Balltek products. Balltek products are deemed 85% safe. Please call 999-888-7777 for more information, thank you. Legal issues related with using Balltek products in the real world not to be blamed on Balltek Inc International.
SCENE: A little bear is in the forest with his friends, Bunny and Pika. They’re slightly bored, and brainstorming ideas for things to do. They’re underneath a big leafy tree with a friendly brown hue.
Bunny: Let’s pway soccerrrr! Pika: Okieeee! Weeeeee! Bear: Buh, where’s da ball ball? Pika: Ow noooo, the ball ball was stolen by the big birdy last time!! All three: *whine* Bear: I know! We can use thisss!
SCENE: The little bear pulls something out of his pocket. It’s his cell phone (no Balltek here~). He puts it on the ground and starts kicking it around, dribbling past the Bunny.
Pika: Wahoooooo! Bunny: Yeeeeehaaaw! Bear: Whoever knew that you could use it like this too! Yay!
SCENE: The little bear has to go home, he bids Bunny and Pika goodbye for the evening. His cell phone lies in pieces by the tree, forgotten. Bunny and Pika are tossing a Tossball back and forth while the little bear gets ready to go. Bunny and Pika: Bye byyyyye! Bear: TRAAAAAAAIIINNNNNNNNNN!!! *waves arms furiously in the air*
SCENE: A train comes with a ‘whoosh’, straight out of the forest and stops in front of the little bear. The little bear hops on and the train speeds away out of the forest, into the horizon…
[squishes] 5/7/2007 a tribute to Chelsea FC, the worst club in the history of the universeSome teams might like to win in four four two,
But you really don't know what to do, When faced with cheating little Chelsea pricks, Who are overpaid and real dicks all day, all day, everyday, The greedy bastards want extra pay, for falling on their arse match day, even though they earn 300K, So the football league goes down the pan, Whats the point in being a fan of Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club,)
they're all overpaid diving fucking twats Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club,) They're all cheating fucking twats I want to shoot them all with a rifle.... All they do is win by one or two,
And they do this falling to the boos, Any team could do what these ass holes do, given the right amount of money or dues, What you see is what you get,
Dives and fouls and the odd gambler bet, They only win cuz of Ambramovich, who is a god damn total bitch, So don't tell me its all down to Mourinho,
I'd rather change my name to Moe, Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club)
They're all overpaid diving fucking twats Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club) They're all cheating bitching fucking homos, I want to shoot them all with a rifle La la la la La la la la They're idiots and the team's a joke,
all you need to do is give em a poke, and they'll go falling flat on the floor, Running for the exit door, Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club)
They're all overpaid diving fucking twats Chelsea football club (Chelsea football club) They're all cheating fucking gits, I want to shoot them all with a rifle take your season ticket, and shove it up your arse hole!
|
|||||
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts|
|
